Sunday, November 28, 2010

I've been thinking..

It has been a while since I updated, my apologies. But due to the fact that most likely only one or two people read this blog, I really see no consequence to the longer gap since I last wrote here.

Thanksgiving was nice. I really appreciate having my family present, especially since my roommate lost her grandmother Thanksgiving morning. My thoughts and prayers were with all of them during the holiday and even now.
We had Thanksgiving at our house as per usual, the house inundated with guests of biological, friend, and abstract relation. I thought it turned out to be a nice evening, but honestly, I am not one to particularly enjoy all the aspects of Thanksgiving. I find it difficult to maintain attention to conversation, finding more pleasure in the activities which revolve around eating.

As usual, however,  Thanksgiving brings a sense of internal reflection. While trying to think of the many blessings, my mind becomes clouded with the sheer volume of good things in my life. I have a roof over my head, food on the table, clean water, a beautiful family, friends, an education.. the list could go on and on. One of the greatest things I am grateful for is the desire I have to love the Lord. I miss Him so present in my life, and I how I can feel myself yearning to draw closer to Him once again.
I want to know the Lord, and now that the season of advent has begun, I want to try listening. I will try meditating on the meaning behind each candle.
This week's candle is Hope, one which hits close to home in my heart. I want to know the joy of the Lord as we draw close to Christmas.

Another think that I have been thinking about it my forever dilemma about not being in a relationship. I mean, as trivial as it sounds, I really find myself looking for a serious relationship. Over the past year especially I have been getting a feeling more so that the Lord is taking care of what I want, shaping my future even more so as I continue to look for my future husband.
The funny thing is, I have been praying for him for years. My future husband, that is. I have been praying for him, that he is having a good day, or that things are going well, or to watch over him.
But now it has gotten to the point where not only do I pray for his well being, but I am praying for the Lord to finally send him to me. I am ready for him to be in my life, and I hope he finds me soon.

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