God Speaks to Me

The Lord really speaks to me through Facebook, I swear! Another one of those God Wants You to Know daily things.. and it's so right on with what's going on in my life right now.

"There is nothing you need to do to deserve happiness. There are no 'minimal requirements' for you to fulfill before you can claim happiness. You deserve happiness simply by virtue of having been born. That's it. Nothing more is required. Be happy. "


i've been having roommate issues since i started going out with the boy. 
Yes, that's right folks. We're official! Today is one week :)
but anyways. I've been really struggling and feeling guilty for being so happy, which has had an impact on my relationship with my roomie. more to come on this, but now i don't have time. just wanted to post this so i wouldn't forget. :P

A Sad Post

This morning I have received word of the passing of a friend of my family's. Vera Rozarie has been a part of my life since I was a child, always the loving and kind woman I knew from St. James, my parish. As I have gotten older, she has become special to me as I am a future educator, and this was also the profession she chose. She's my "buddy", and she will be greatly missed. Please pray for Vera and her family, as they are struggling with their loss.

ROZARIE Vera J. Rozarie of Stratford, went home to the Lord on Tuesday, March 29, 2011. She was the third child born to James L. and Helena E. Londea Kazee. One of six children, she was educated in Bridgeport, Fairfield, and New Haven. She graduated from Harding High School, SHU (B.S.), and SCSU (M.S., 6th Year Professional Diploma). Vera was prede-ceased by her husband, Edward C. Rozarie. Together they parented four children, Gwen Ann, Edwina, Dirk (married to Judith) and Carla. Vera was grandmother to Lisa, Andrew, Gina and Emily Eaton, Meghan, Jeremiah and Casey Rozarie; sister to William of New York, NY, Anna of Pompano Beach, Fla.; "Auntbear" to many nieces and nephews; sister-in-law to Edith and Otis Otts of the Westville section of New Haven. Her wide network of friends and extended family included Mary and MaryLou Semedo; her church family at St. James; Cursillo of Fairfield County; her Sisters in Christ, Celeste, Connie, Nancy, Rhina and Rita; two very special friends, Ernest and Thom; her educational family, the Stratford Community Family (through CARE), Baldwin Center and Marathon Bridge Group Family, as well as her friends and neighbors at Tide Harbor where she was a member of the Board of Directors. She was also a member of the Red Rose Hatters (Co-Queen) and Les Treize. She was the only lay member of the Stratford Clergy Association. Vera had many associates in life but chose her friends carefully. To name them would mean leaving important people out. Each of you knows the role you played in her life. God, family, friends, church, community and life (which included a good poker game or game of Spanish 21) filled her days. Vera was a nurturer and teacher all of her adult life. As Vera believed strongly in the power of education and service to community, please make a donation to the scholarship program of your choice in her honor. There are several excellent scholarships associated with organizations she was involved in (as listed above).Calling hours are 4 to 8 p.m. on Friday, April 1st in the Pistey Funeral Home, 2155 Main Street, Stratford. A Mass of Christian burial will be celebrated at St. James Church on Saturday, April 2nd at 10:30 a.m. Burial services at the convenience of the family. "God bless and keep you until we meet again."

Baking post!

Hello again!
So this is a bit delayed as these were both made last week, but I wanted to show off my creations anyways!

Ain't she pretty? A little uneven on top, but overall I was pleased with it. Definitely not the design I sketched out before decorating, but it still looked pretty nice. This is a white cake with chocolate frosting and in between layers are Chips Ahoy cookies, which softened and were really good. The designs are done in royal icing. Overall, this cake took about 4 hours. Not to shabby for start to finish!

A look at the designs up close. I used neon food coloring to get the green to be so bright and just regular yellow for the trim. 

This was a really really REALLY fun cake to do. I made it for a friend's weekly meatball dinner, also known as Meatball Madness!

Sorry for the bad picture on this one, but I wanted you to see the top. 

Then later on in the week I made sugar cookies for a concert to further experiment with royal icing. These were my first cookies with royal, so they didn't come out very "professional" looking, but everyone seemed to like them... they went like hotcakes!

Bread in the container worked like a charm. It made them softer even! These cookies are from scratch, and so is the royal icing, but that's not difficult to make! The cookies however, were a bit of a pain. 

I tried to use a lot of color since spring is coming up! I definitely have the wheels turning for my next batch... :)

I used an old Biscotti container for transport, which is also what I photographed them in. 

I loved the colors, and I had to keep an eye on my mom... she wanted to eat them all!

Overall, I loved both of the outcomes here. What shall I do next time? I have a couple things in mind.. just wait and see :)

Insert Title Here

So, I really didn't know what to title this post, because it really is about one thing in kind of mind-wandering-rant-type-think-aloud.

Okay so, this boy. I am falling for him fast. And it's absolutely ridiculous. He's not even my boyfriend, but all I can do is think about him and how much I want to be with him, hold him, kiss him. It's obscene. I haven't felt like this.. since well, ever. I mean, each 'relationship' or whatever have all been different. My first and only boyfriend I had when I was in high school made some mistakes that made me not trust him; the next one kinda led me on, which again, lack of trust for him.
The moral of the story is that Loretta has some serious trust issues. It gets so bad that I can't make eye contact with the person. And like I said before, this is not a problem with this boy. I like everything about him; except the fact that he's graduating soon, and perhaps moving very far away. But I have gotten to the point where I am so into him that I don't even care and I just want to be with him regardless of whatever might happen in the future.
And even after all this time has gone by since our first date, I still trust him. I have never even felt this comfortable  with a guy ever, and I don't even know what to do with myself because I want him so badly.
I want him to be mine.. my boy.

What they say...

They say that things in life happen when you least expect them to.. over the past couple of weeks, I have come to find out that this is completely and utterly true.

Out of the blue the week before last, I was asked out on a date. By a boy I liked. And it was by far the best date I have ever been on. He was romantic and a gentleman, bought me flowers and opened doors.. he is absolutely wonderful. I don't know, but it may even be going somewhere, which I am totally okay with.

I may have mentioned (maybe not) that I have this issue with guys a lot of the time. I don't trust guys after bad experiences in the past, and most of the time it's ridiculously evident; I can't make eye contact with them.
But here's the thing.
I can make eye contact with this guy. For a long time. And not feel uncomfortable. That hasn't happened in a LONG time.

So to sum up, I like the boy. yay. :)

In other news, I went to an awesome sale at Old Navy this weekend and got a couple dresses, scarves, a shirt, and a tank top (one of those stretchy white ones.. I wear them under everything). I absolutely love Old Navy stuff.

I also cannot wait for the rest of this week. It's going to be fabulous! Not only am I going to spend lots of time down at the elementary school I volunteer at (at play rehearsal), but I get to see so many wonderful people back home that I haven't seen in forever.. course, I should probably sneak in some school-work.. maaybbbeee.

It's going well!

It's going really well! My weight loss, plan that is. Out of the four days I have been doing it, I only went over my calorie budget once, which was because of a friend visiting and trip to Friendly's. So I can safely say that on my own, even with classes to juggle, I am able to stick to my diet! I mean, granted, it has only been four days, but I feel so proud of myself!

Okay, a couple of weird random things. Annndd they are both Jesus-centric! Those are the best, aren't they??
So, first. I was on Facebook, and there's this application called God Wants You to Know. It basically is like a religious version of a horoscope, which I must say, is right up my alley. And every day it updates, so there is a little one next to it. I haven't clicked on it in a while, but for some reason I was being drawn to it this past Sunday. So, I'm like, what the hell, couldn't hurt right? Little did I know what words were waiting for me. It said the following:

 "You can tell yourself that you've already decided, that nothing can stop you now, but if that step                       backwards is so much safer than step forwards, what will hold you true to your path when the going gets tough? Sometimes, the right thing to do is to take that first irreversible step, the one after which you cannot go back. And now, for you, is one of those times."

I was blown away! All I could think of was this new diet and weight loss plan I had embarked upon, and how things like this have always failed in the past for me. God is doing this with me. I know He thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am, but I kind of saw this as support. He is supporting me in most any step I choose to take, and I can count on him to be here for me.

Okay, second random thing. My friend was here this weekend, right? And we spent the last morning of her visit laying in bed talking about babies and our future children. Then literally an hour later one of my suitemates texts me and tells me she had a dream that I had a baby girl; brown hair, green eyes ("She looked just like you!" she would later say), and we were giving her a bath in the sink. My heart was so full of joy just at this idea! My friend suggested that maybe it was a confirmation from God that I will have children someday, that my worries about fertility are frivolous and He will provide for me.

I think that this will be my focus during this Lenten season. Usually during Lent I just devote myself to trying to nice to other people, listening to only Jesus music.. I don't usually give something up like most people do. This year I will follow my same pattern, except I want to focus my prayer on my future husband and future children. My patience is growing weary, having had no glimmer of hope for a relationship in quite a while. I cannot seem to find someone that is on the same page that I am, and that meets my standards, which are morally based and cannot be undermined. Not that I am going to demand anything of God; He will provide when and if He sees fit, but I need something to tell me to keep going. The dream my suitemate had was really helpful in that department! More of that, please?

I know my future husband is out there somewhere. I hope he is ready for me soon, and that the Lord is shaping him into an amazing man. I pray for him often, and I hope all is well with him, especially tonight as I type this entry.

I invite my readers, few as you are, to talk to God as well. I'm sure you have differing perspectives when it comes to religion, but really, God is awesome. Lent is always so beneficial and such a blessed time for me, and I would love to spread that joy to others. I'm sure there will be a whole big Lent post once it rolls around, but maybe until then, toss around the idea of spending some time with the Lord. He is always there, knocking on the door to your heart, waiting to love you.

                    

So my life begins.

Today is another one of those first days for me. Today begins my diet.

After a very fat Valentine's week, I went to my closet yesterday to figure out what I wanted to wear for the day. After looking through everything, I said to myself, "I would look fat in anything in here". That was it. That was the point where I realized, something needs to change. I am not comfortable with myself, and I am overweight. So, today begins the first day. I am going to try my darndest to stick to this.

So, I reactivated this online food journal I had in high school, and I plan to count calories, take vitamins, hopefully squeeze in some exercise. I lost 15 pounds last summer, I know I can do this. Of course, I've gained it all back since then, but my current goal is to lose 35 pounds. I want to feel comfortable with myself, and gain the confidence that I so desire. I want to be able to go into my closet and pick out something because I want to wear it that day, not because it's the only shirt that won't show my love handles. I want to stop feeling like the fat friend. I want boys to look at me because I'm gorgeous, not because I'm unfortunate looking. I want to be able to honestly say that I feel beautiful. As of right now, I can't.

My goal date is my 21st birthday, June 4th. That is only 3 months and 14 days away! I need to stick to a 1,500 calorie diet with 700 calorie burning occurring through exercise. I can do this. I am asking whoever reads this to support me in this. I want to be free of this monster, I want to love myself, and I feel that this is the way to do it. I will be healthier both physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I want to start my 22 year of life feeling amazing, and leaving this behind me. Here it goes. :)