It's going really well! My weight loss, plan that is. Out of the four days I have been doing it, I only went over my calorie budget once, which was because of a friend visiting and trip to Friendly's. So I can safely say that on my own, even with classes to juggle, I am able to stick to my diet! I mean, granted, it has only been four days, but I feel so proud of myself!
Okay, a couple of weird random things. Annndd they are both Jesus-centric! Those are the best, aren't they??
So, first. I was on Facebook, and there's this application called God Wants You to Know. It basically is like a religious version of a horoscope, which I must say, is right up my alley. And every day it updates, so there is a little one next to it. I haven't clicked on it in a while, but for some reason I was being drawn to it this past Sunday. So, I'm like, what the hell, couldn't hurt right? Little did I know what words were waiting for me. It said the following:
"You can tell yourself that you've already decided, that nothing can stop you now, but if that step backwards is so much safer than step forwards, what will hold you true to your path when the going gets tough? Sometimes, the right thing to do is to take that first irreversible step, the one after which you cannot go back. And now, for you, is one of those times."
I was blown away! All I could think of was this new diet and weight loss plan I had embarked upon, and how things like this have always failed in the past for me. God is doing this with me. I know He thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am, but I kind of saw this as support. He is supporting me in most any step I choose to take, and I can count on him to be here for me.
Okay, second random thing. My friend was here this weekend, right? And we spent the last morning of her visit laying in bed talking about babies and our future children. Then literally an hour later one of my suitemates texts me and tells me she had a dream that I had a baby girl; brown hair, green eyes ("She looked just like you!" she would later say), and we were giving her a bath in the sink. My heart was so full of joy just at this idea! My friend suggested that maybe it was a confirmation from God that I will have children someday, that my worries about fertility are frivolous and He will provide for me.
I think that this will be my focus during this Lenten season. Usually during Lent I just devote myself to trying to nice to other people, listening to only Jesus music.. I don't usually give something up like most people do. This year I will follow my same pattern, except I want to focus my prayer on my future husband and future children. My patience is growing weary, having had no glimmer of hope for a relationship in quite a while. I cannot seem to find someone that is on the same page that I am, and that meets my standards, which are morally based and cannot be undermined. Not that I am going to demand anything of God; He will provide when and if He sees fit, but I need something to tell me to keep going. The dream my suitemate had was really helpful in that department! More of that, please?
I know my future husband is out there somewhere. I hope he is ready for me soon, and that the Lord is shaping him into an amazing man. I pray for him often, and I hope all is well with him, especially tonight as I type this entry.
I invite my readers, few as you are, to talk to God as well. I'm sure you have differing perspectives when it comes to religion, but really, God is awesome. Lent is always so beneficial and such a blessed time for me, and I would love to spread that joy to others. I'm sure there will be a whole big Lent post once it rolls around, but maybe until then, toss around the idea of spending some time with the Lord. He is always there, knocking on the door to your heart, waiting to love you.
