Perpetually Overdue

I find that I have not been as good about updating as I would like to be... surprise, surprise.

A lot has happened over the last month! Shortly after my last post, Steve and I went on vacation to visit his dad and sister in North Carolina. I got to ride a plane for the very first time, and it was the farthest I had ever traveled! Here are some pictures from the trip:

The view out my window on my very first plane ride!

The view of Wrightsville Beach from our absolutely gorgeous hotel. 

Back view of our hotel!

Steve and I on the beach the second day of our trip. We arrived Friday afternoon at the hotel and were there until Sunday afternoon. It was short, but still one of the best trips of my life!

Right before heading out to dinner Saturday night! While there, we got to meet Steve's dad's girlfriend Tracy and her daughters. Pictured here from left to right: Steve, Shannon (Steve's sister), Jewelean (Tracy's daughter), Ariel (Tracy's daughter), and me!

Sunday morning before heading off to the beach and pool, horribly sunburned from the day before...

A flock of pelicans flying over the hotel. 

There was so much more that happened that isn't pictured here... the hotel was insanely gorgeous; I felt like a celebrity! In the hotel lobby was a parrot named Abby. Friday night we went to dinner at a sports bar so that we could watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Saturday we had lunch/drinks on the porch of the back of the hotel with a gorgeous view of the ocean.. I had a peach smoothie.. it was sooo good! That night we went to a local fish restaurant and ate out on the pier.. I had stuffed salmon with mashed potatoes. SO good. That night we went back to the hotel and surprised Steve's dad with a cake that Shannon had made for his upcoming birthday.. we got him so good that when we got to his hotel room with the cake he was in his underwear already! 

Sunday before we left the area we went to a frozen yogurt bar called Fuzzy Peach.. I loaded mine up with all sorts of goodies. Our flight home took off at sunrise, which was absolutely gorgeous. I couldn't even handle how beautiful being above the clouds was; I can't wait to fly again. 

Not only was the vacation itself awesome, but sharing it with Steve was fantastic. 

Speaking of Steve, we celebrated our one year anniversary August 7th. We did a weekend adventure; including going to see Blue Man Group, bowling, a trip to the Franklin Park Zoo, and dinner at a swanky fondue restaurant. 

Right after seeing Blue Man! It was definitely one of the most interesting shows I've ever been to... Steve surprised me with the show!

Steve and I in front of one of the viewpoints of the giraffe exhibit. I love him. <3

Steve took this picture of me at our fondue dinner. The food there was really good!

So as you can see, things are going well. I wish I could find a job, though. I'm really starting to panic about money. And on top of it, I'll never be able to move to Boston if I don't start getting some funds stowed away. The problem of not being qualified for much of anything and trying to avoid a job that would call for weekends makes a hell of a combo.. I can't even find anything to apply to! Hopefully something will fall into place soon. 

I want to try and update this more. Hopefully since I won't be in school now I'll be able to do that more regularly, so the details won't be so limited. 

Overdue Baking Post :)

So I feel as though it's been quite a while since I updated my baking progress on here... so I figured I would give you my few readers a little 'taste' of what's been whipped up in the kitchen lately.

These are the cakepops I made for a group that ordered them on campus. I kinda got stiffed a bit when it came time for the payment, but I'm happy with how they came out!

The insides were also half chocolate, half vanilla :)

Yummy! I love how the drizzle looks. 

I tried out a new method of frosting... I love how it came out!

It was super easy too.. I can't wait to try different types of color combinations!

There's both chocolate and vanilla frosting on these cupcakes!

They look so incredibly cool :)

Made an order this past weekend for a Sweet 16 for a friend. 'Sweet' 16 Candy theme!

They came out wicked cute. 

Here's her candle!

Love the colors :)

I hope you enjoyed viewing them as much as I enjoyed making them! :)

So much for updating regularly...

Seriously, sorry about my ridiculous absence between posts. It's really quite horrendous.

So a lot has happened since I updated last. First of all, the most sad to report, are all the people who have died.
On June 14, Cameron died. Ronni was an integral part of my childhood; she was one of my sisters' best friends. She had a tough life in general, but what she endured as a child is really appalling. I'm sure there's even more that I don't know, but I remember learning as I got older that Ronni was incredibly strong. Besides that, she was brilliant. She spoke several languages fluently, played many instruments, and taught herself organic chemistry because she was bored.
She was diagnosed with an extremely rare form of cancer, and was given very little time. She died at the age of 26. It was a really hard process for our entire family.

I don't know if I've ever spoken about it any journal I have, but here it goes. We're a very open and welcoming family; our friends know that no matter what, they always have a home here with us. As such, my parents 'adopted' various friends over the years as their additional daughters. When adopted into the Kelly family, you acquire a number, and that is the number child you are. It's sort of like a birth order type of thing.
My sister Monica is #1, because she was born first. Then comes #2, Bridget, and I'm #3. Then it goes in the following order:

• Ronni #4
• Danielle #5
• Liz #6
• Andrea #7
• Kristina #8
• Jacqui #9
• Katie #10
• Amanda #11
• Alyssa #12
• Catherine #13

We typically don't take on boys as a general rule on the off chance that a relationship with any of the aforementioned daughters begins; it would be incest! We have always said that if the boys were to have numbers, the only one that would be given would be to Ian, a friend of my brother-in-law that lived with my family for a bit when I was in eighth grade. 

So as you can see, Ronni's death was not only difficult for my sisters, but for our family. Hopefully she is now finally at peace. 

Less than a week after Ronni's wake, my friend Quinn passed away on June 22. He was diagnosed with a rare type of brain tumor many years ago, and had struggled to beat it ever since. He lost his battle at the age of 19, but not before touching the lives of countless people. The line at his wake was out the door of the funeral home; we waiting in line for an hour. I had known Quinn through In the Spotlight, the local summer theater program I participated in during high school. He was an awesome kid; sweet, funny, and gave great hugs. I had a crush on him for a while when I was younger even. It's really a pity. 

And finally, the last person. His name is Collin. He's the brother of my/Steve's friend Britainy. He was tragically killed in a car accident last Saturday at the age of 19. 

Why do things like that happen? In less than a month, I know of at least 3 people under the age of 30 who have died. THAT IS RIDICULOUS. Incredibly heartbreaking, and stupidly ridiculous. 

On a different note, I'm going crazy here in Connecticut. I'm literally going insane. I can only take so much of my family, and most of my really good friends live at least an hour away. I've been looking for a job, but I haven't been able to find anything that I even qualify for to apply. 

I miss Steve. I saw him less than a week ago, and I miss him. I'm continuing to fall more and more in love with him, and I want to be near him. It's getting harder for me to leave him each time I visit, and watching him leave me is even worse. Tomorrow we will have been dating for 11 months. One year is right around the corner! I can't even believe it. It's so incredible to think about where I was a year ago; how much I've changed and how far I've come. I mean, just look back at my old posts. I was a mess. 

Not only was I dealing with my feelings surrounding the Tim situation, but I was trying to learn how to eat properly again. 

I have not talked about it much on here; maybe because I didn't even realize what was happening until it was long over. I had a small stint with anorexia. I was apparently on a watch at school, and my roommates sought help because they were so concerned. Looking back on it, I see it. I didn't eat. My body was lucky if I put anything into it. I didn't even eat ice cream, and if you know me, you know what a shocking statement that is. 

I'm starting off to try and workout and eat right now. It's only been an active effort for a couple of days, but I think I can do this. I want to look better and actually feel confident in something other than the color of my eyes. The biggest portion of the weight is off; I lost 30-35 lbs during the anorexia phase last year. I want to lose another 10 lbs or so, but that number could be less if I could gain muscle and be more toned. I just don't want to be flabby and fat anymore. I'm sure what I see in the mirror is different than what other people see, especially because people tell me how great I look all the time. 

But I don't believe them. They don't see it. I sit in front of my mirrors in my room and scrutinize every blessed day. I pull at my fat and try on multiple outfits before settling on one that only me looks slightly fat instead of being a complete obese elephant. 

I remember the first psychologist I went to going into my junior year of high school. We touched briefly on the body image; but honestly, I don't remember talking about it with anyone else. Man, that made me think about one of my counselors, Rachael. She was the one I had during my sophomore year of college. She was so incredibly fantastic I could spend an hour singing her praises. She wasn't even technically a part of the counseling center, either; she was an intern. I'm sure she is engaging in a very successful career now. 

Junior year I went to Pam. She stared at me weird. And the Monday after I started dating Tim (we starting dating on a Saturday), she was like, "Well, you just seem so happy! Would you like to stop counseling" Of course, blinded by my new relationship, I said yes. This is the same woman who wanted to medicate me not a month before. Surprise, surprise I broke when Tim broke up with me. There was still so much going on!

But really, I have come so far personally over the last year. I was broken emotionally, physically...as a person. Now, I'm happy (besides the living in Connecticut thing). I have a wonderful boyfriend who I love to the ends of the earth, and I'm finally not in school anymore! I know where I want to live, and finally I'm not afraid of being myself. Now if I could just figure out what I want to do for work, we'd be all set! We'll get there. I'm in no rush. Things will fall into place in time; if there's anything I've learned this past year, is that life is short, and everything can change in the blink of an eye. Who knows what the next year holds; but here's to making the best of it. 

Raise Your Cup of Kindness

Yesterday I met Steve's extended family on his mom's side.. well, some of them. He has a huge family!

They are all fabulous. Super nice, and so welcoming. From the moment we arrived to the party, they all were talking to me and trying to make me feel comfortable. We were outside the majority of the day relaxing and talking, and then Steve's Uncle Kevin made this amazing steak.. The food was incredible. Steak, garlic bread, mac and cheese, pasta salad, loaded potatoes. Oh my Lord it's a wonder I didn't come out of it weighing a thousand pounds!
After we ate, Steve's mom handed out the cake pops I made. Needless to say, they were a hit. A little structurally unsound, this batch; my mom and I had to add oil to the chocolate coating to thin it out because initially it heated too quickly. But, in any case, most of them made it there and into peoples' mouths alright. As always, they were a hit!
After that and a little time passed by, we left the house we were at and returned to Steve's mom's house. His Uncle Kevin and Aunt Karen had brought their three-legged golden retriever, Tracy. I fell in love. I was cuddling with her on the floor practically the whole time we were there! It was just so much fun. I love his family to death; it sucks that they live so far away!

The kids at the academy are gearing up for their show. They're a little behind where they should be, but I know they'll put everything together. That's what always happens. Hell week is quickly approaching! Steve is going to be coming to help out with opening night; I can't wait to see how he reacts to all the craziness. ;)

Over two months?!

It is absolutely ridiculous that is has been over two months since I last updated this blog. So much has happened since then! Since writing all of it will likely prove to be somewhat trying for my patience, I will try my best to be thorough without going into too much detail, as that likely would be a horrendously long post.

When I last left you all, I hadn't even met Steve's sister Shannon! Well, I got to meet her, and she is fabulous and adorable. Overall, I'd say that Steve has a pretty awesome family. Next weekend I'll be meeting some of the extended, so that's exciting. AND someone is bringing their three legged golden retriever!! AHHHH GIMME DA PUP :)

Easter wasn't anything spectacular this year; I'm not as in tune with my faith as I've been in the past, so I wasn't too into the religion of it. I've become very frustrated with the Catholic church and some narrow minded people, so the last thing on my mind is getting sucked back into it. I would rather be distant from the church and figure out some way to maintain a relationship with God than go along with a religion that I cannot associate with.

The weekend after Easter we had PIE/Emmaus. I managed to wrangle up two candidates this time around; Bradley's (the little boy I babysat last summer) mother, Claudine, and Steve! Everyone loved Steve, and I cannot even express how awesome it was to have him there to share in my Emmaus family. I know he loved the people; he said they were such a welcoming, fun, and loving group. To this day, however, I'm not sure how he felt about the religion aspect of it; I know it's not really his thing. Apparently as of late, it's not mine either.

That next weekend was Steve's 24th birthday! We went out to dinner on his actual birthday. Along with his presents, I made him a card with everything that he loves on it!

It took forever, but I think it came out pretty good!

The next day we took a day trip over to the Quincy Market area in Boston and went to the Boston Aquarium.

My handsome man in front of one of the many fishtanks. 

I was trying to communicate with the fish... I figured if I looked like them maybe they would come over. Sometimes it actually worked! ;)

At the top of the big tank in the middle of the aquarium. 

Nomnomnom :)

Yay! Love this picture... One of the lovely ladies who worked at the front desk took this for us. 

The aquarium was so much fun. After that we headed back to Quincy for shopping and such, and went over to the lit up area right by the shore. We even saw someone get proposed to and engaged! (Thank God she said yes!)

It was SO pretty!

And very romantic.... ;)

I adore this picture :3

It was all around an awesome day. So many great memories made, and we got to spend some nice quality time together. The next day we went over to Steve's mom's house, and she made us dinner and a cake for Steve's birthday. We tried to get the singing candle to work, but it wouldn't until after we were done singing. Oh well, the cake was super yummy, so who cares. :P

"Happy Birthday Stevie Joe!"

Of course, the next weekend, we threw Steve a birthday party. We had it at his friend JD's apartment, dubbing the event fe-STEVE-al 2012. (See what we did there?) It was a lot of fun... from what I remember. When you drink a bottle and a half of wine, you tend to not remember the majority of your evening. But we definitely got some winning shots from that night...Please, oh please, enjoy. 

Steve's Birthday banner that everyone signed ;)

Kisses! :)

Steve's Birthday cake that I made for him. Turn 24 LIKE A SIR!

Epic game of Cards Against Humanity. Seriously, it's an awesome game...look that shit up!

Did I mention that the cake was rainbow with a cookies n'cream filling? So tasty! ;)

Everyone pitched in and got Steve tickets to go see Rammstein* (*this is probably not spelled correctly...). Needless to say, he was SUPER excited. So cute ;)

I just love this picture. I was so drunk, and decided to hit Steve with his Birthday Diva scepter. Just...love it. 

The next morning. I was VERY hungover. I may or may not have vomited shortly before this picture was taken. 

It was an AWESOME party. It would have been a great weekend overall, except on the way back Steve's car broke down and we spent the entire day Saturday in a car garage waiting to get it fixed so we could go home. Good news it she's fixed now! Steve wants to get a new car now more than ever, though. He hates that thing. 

Okay. Here comes the big stuff. I GRADUATED COLLEGE. Say what?! I honestly never imagined that day coming, but it did! May 5, 2012, I graduated Keene State College with a BA in English with a Writing concentration. The weather ended up being completely gorgeous, and it was just an allover perfect way to end my time at Keene. That and driving my friend Megan's pick-up truck... that was on my life list! Here are some pictures from the event. 

Steve and I before the ceremony. I was laughing because Megan pointed out that Steve's energy drink was ruining the previous picture, which he hid behind his back right before she took this one! ;)

Shaking the hand of President Giles Gee as I received my cute little fake diploma!

The graduates! Well, some of them. You can't see all of them from this angle. 

After graduating! Those are the gorgeous roses Steve got for me :3

Me and my roommate of two years Susan. 

Now, there were nice pictures taken of me and Megan. But this one is so much more fun. ;)

Me and the family. We're only missing Craig, Bridget's boyfriend. 

See now comes the time in the post when I'm supposed to talk about my plans for the future and all of the beautiful things I'm going to be doing now that I'm out of Keene. Well, see, I haven't exactly gotten that far. But I will tell you, if one more person asks me what I'm going to do, I swear to Christopher it's going to get ugly. 

For now, I'm looking for a job. I'm hoping to get something full time during the week so that I can save up and move to Boston sometime early next year. I'm helping the kids at the Academy finish up their play, so I'm at the elementary school volunteering every afternoon during the week, which is super fun. They're doing Happy Days the Musical... strange, but good music. 

In the next couple weeks I have a lot to look forward to! I might be getting a temporary babysitting job that could potentially start this week, I'll be meeting some of Steve's extended family next weekend, my friends Catie and Jay are getting married June 1st, my graduation party is June 2nd, and my 22nd birthday is June 4th! I will do my darndest to try and update this more, especially now that I'm home with not much else to do. 

This didn't exactly go the 'short' route, but it was decently thorough as promised at least! :3

One for the books...

This weekend I experienced one of the most terrifying things I've ever witnessed.

Steve and I went to a metal concert. I'll admit, I went into it very nervous. I had imagined people thrashing around moshing on the floor and getting trampled or injured in some regard. Steve told me that it wouldn't happen, that the most that would occur would be that I might get shoved a little bit and it would be crowded.

The opening band played and everything was still okay. I was pressed up against strangers, but was holding onto Steve all the while. Then the main band, Mindless Self Indulgence, came on. The crowd went crazy. We were in the middle close to the front of the stage, so there was no where really to move. The people started thrashing around so violently that it would near impossible to stand; people next to us fell over. It was at that point that we left the floor to go stand somewhere else. We got out and I was really shook up, but we went to the one of the first levels near the floor. (The theater was gutted and there are levels for people to stand; no chairs). A girl standing next to me slammed down on my foot, who was obviously wearing stilettos. I just started crying. I was already on the verge from the experience in the crowd, but that pushed me over the edge. Steve took me out to calm me down, and then we found another spot to stand. His friends had trouble in the crowd too, and all of them said that it was the most out of control thing they'd ever seen at a metal concert aside from the actual moshing pit. Steve was on edge, too. Some drunk guy was trying to mosh in the section we were in where everyone was just standing and watching, and I really thought Steve was going to try to fight him; I had to pull him back off the guy. I was so happy when we got out of there.

I got to meet Steve's mom this weekend, too! She was really nice. I got to see his house and hometown... I hope to go back sometime and see what it's like during the day.

Next weekend I get to meet Steve's sister. Then I'll have met the whole family! :D

Nearly a month?!

I am absolutely appalled at myself that I have not updated in nearly a month. There is really no reason for that. I want to become more regular in updating on here. The problem is that since this is a public forum, I find myself slightly filtering myself in order to protect a few things in myself from being entirely too public.

However, I can fill you in on the goings on lately!

The whole decision I made to give up on pastry school for now? Yeah. Not realistic in any sense. There was no way I can sit in some office for the rest of my life. I love to bake so much... making that into a career is all I can see myself doing. I will get there somehow, I'm just not sure in what capacity yet.

My first Valentine's Day with a Valentine was absolutely amazing. I went to Steve's apartment and we exchanged gifts Friday night; mainly because I was way too horribly impatient to wait until our celebration the next night. So I gave him his gift that I had been working on for the two weeks prior. I made him a cake pop bouquet and filled the jar I put them in with construction paper hearts which each had something I love about him written on it. I made him a cute little card too; it was extra sappy, of course.
He got me an orchid plant and an absolutely gorgeous necklace!

The flowers are so beautiful!

He found it all on his own! I love it so much :)

He made this adorable card too ;)

Saturday night he made me dinner and we had a couple drinks and watched The Notebook.. such a romantic movie, and my all-time favorite. It was an absolutely fabulous weekend.. and I couldn't have been happier than to have spent it with my love. 

We were also celebrating our six month anniversary! I can't believe over six months have gone by already. It's been the best six months of my life, and I've literally never been happier. Steve is more than I could have ever hoped for in a man, and I am the luckiest girl in the world to be able to call him mine. 

In other news, I am officially now on a diet. I am tracking calories using an online food journal, one that has worked well for me in the past. I want to lose about 15 or so lbs. I'd like to tone up, too. By the time I turn 22 in June, hopefully. Yet again, I will use my birthday as a goal date. It worked last year! Let's do this!